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The past, present and future.

I have blogged a few times about how this website has interfered with my life in many ways, and again it seems to have kicked me in the bollocks.

This blog has seen me through many a hard time (and of course many good times too) The people that comment have reassured me and moaned at me – but its made the whole blogging experience worth while. I have had about 4 or 5 different blog setups, using three differnet blogging platforms (Joomla, Bblog and WordPress)

And i dont want to even start thinking about how many times i have changed the overall look of it! Yet nothing has ever deterred me from bloggin, and nothing ever will.

Anyone that knows me knows that i am shit at remembering things, i don’t remember birthdays, i dont remember special occasions, i dont remember why i start blog entries… Oh yeah.. Erm, yes.. my bad memory.. Anyway, i use this blog as a way of earmarking things for the future, i was able to clarify the exact date me and Gemma got together, as i blogged about it, i can look back and find the exact date i moved into my new house, because i blogged about it.

And that about sums up my blog and the reason i continue to use it after all these years. I dont blog for the benefit of others, i dont blog for the sake of it, i blog becasue if i didnt i would probably forget everything that has happened to me in the last few years – wether it be good, or bad.

I also blog becasue some times i feel that i need to talk to someone, but dont want to bore anyone with the really boring and stupid things i get depressed about. Most people have brothers, sisters, best mates, even just a close mum or dad they can chat shit to, and be reassured that “it will be ok”. I dont feel I have any of them.

I know that there are probably people i can talk to about stuff i do have a very understanding girlfriend, a lot of very good friends and assocates, but again, i dont wish to waste anyones life by talking to them about me for more than 5 mins.

But (and this bit IS for someone else) just because i write these things down, and not store them at the back of my mind so that they come up every now and then to haunt me, it doesn’t mean that i still think about them, and it doesn’t mean that how i was feeling at the time is still how i feel now.

I dont blog from the heart much any more, but from time to time i will. Looking back at my blog from a year or so ago and you can really see how i have changed as a person – i have grown up so much, although i still make many mistakes as i make my way through life.

I wouldn’t change 1 single thing about my past, because your past makes up who you are today, and i probably wouldn’t be with someone i love, in our own house, with a gorgeous baby puppy asleep on my feet if i changed something.

Anyway, if you have read this then sorry for wasting 10 mins your life.

Ill make it up to you, somehow.

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