time ticks away, and my head continues to fill with strange thoughts.i hate being put in positions that mean i have to make a decision that will affect the rest of my life. the first of its kind was the decision whether or not i wanted to stay in school, or go to college. wow, that seems so long ago now. well, it was! and along the journey i call life, i have had to make similar decisions such as whether or not to leave my job, and go work for bill (which was a fucking mistake) and again, i am in one of those positions, and im shitting myself.
i have the opportunity to work 5 days a week 24 hours a day. so a week, NON STOP. what i would be doing, is id be working on maxxd in the day, then from about 3 or 4 o’clock, id go to a security job, on which i can sleep. so i wouldn’t go home for a week! now this all sounds a bit too much, and the thought of not seeing my own bed for a whole week makes me sad. but if i dont do something soon im gonna burst. i feel myself being sucked into the norm.. routine.. 9-5.. i dont just want to be a number. and i guess the thing im worried about more than anything, is telling the people here at mmx3. i dont want to feel ive let them down, and i dont want to leave them in the shit. but i defiantly dont want to stay here, and join the queue for a normal life. im not normal, and i dont want to be normal. i want to be me, and i want people to know me. so ill do whatever it takes to get where i want to be.
and if that means working 120 hours a week non stop, then so be it.
fucking dreading it tho!