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My Past

hello :/

been so busy lately, got some news on my current job at the mo today. at metalbox every temp employee gets layed off at the end of the year, if not earlyer. i was one of the lucky 12 or so that lasted up till december, then down to 6. the woman came round and got 3 of us in a room, and basically were NOT gettin layed off this year, because were needed, so we break up xmas eve, and go back 4th jan.

week and 1 day off, paied as well which is cool, and the first in jan pay i will get my holiday money! for all the days off i have gatherd up, and not used.

BUT.. this brings me to my first problem. i was hoping i would get LAYED OFF xmas eve, and i would of recieved my holiday money that day as its a friday (pay day) and i would of finished at half 11 in the mornin, so i could of gone to meadowhall with me mate, and bought all my xmas prezzies. so now i cant. unless by some stroke of pure miricle i get loads of money for my trebles this week, which i wont.

so xmas is cancelled

feel really shady as well, cos nic is the kind of girl who go’s all out with everyhitng, which means she will go all out and get me something rate cool for xmas, and at this rate im not gonna be able to get her anything.

didnt really hit me untill i just wrote that then, jesus, why the fuck have i let this happen? to be fair its simply because it does not feel like xmas, there are no decorations up in this house, the ONLY thing that could signify that it is xmas time is the fact there is one stood up xmas card on the fire, and from here i can barely see it.

yeah i see xmas lights on houses an stuff, but it DOES NOT feel like xmas. is this what happens when you get to 21? you start to see life for what it really is? xmas decorations aint for fun, they are there to remind us adults its xmas, otherwise we would forget.

it has felt like i have just got about 3 years older writing this entry.

im enlightned. (did i spell that right too??)

crazy :/

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