Author: Olly

Had quite a bizarre weekend. Spent most of it in bed, not being rude, just sleeping. Lounging about, and watching dvds. We have borrowed my mothers BLockbuster card, and have 6 dvd’s out at the mo. The best is cannibal holocaust. Its a ret weird film about “Amazonia” and about 4 documentary film makers who go to the amazon, in search of natives, and boy oh boy do they find them!

its said that the director of this film “Ruggero Deodato” had to go to court, and actually swear under oath that the apparent “meals” of the cannibal;s were in fact fake. THis film was made in the 70’s, and even by today’s standards its fucking gory! I couldn’t actually tell if it was fake or not. Its crazy! So I’m currently looking for that, and any other film by that director so that i can build up my gore-dvd collection!

One film i WONT be buying, is a film called “The attendant” Its a film about 6 american kids who go camping up on this mountain. Its very badly filmed, bad actors.. shit story.. and its only a hour long.. me and my girlfriend looked at each other when it finished as if to say “what the fuck?” Even at the end where there is out takes from the movie, there are clips of one of the women on her phone, talking to someone saying “get me off this movie, it sucks” and things like “my on screen boyfriend is a jerk, he keeps touching me” and one line that made me chuckle a lot “I’m not even getting paid for this!!” – So a big no-no for “the attendant” its wank.

Like i was saying, apart from going to my mums, and going to get some headache tablets at 7 in the morning, i hardy ventured out the house! Then on sunday afternoon something happened and nic seemed to just get very ratty with me. Even this morning she was nasty to me. – Makes me very depressed. And when i get depressed, i get questions in my head like “are you happy?” “are you with the person you want to be with?” – Now most questions that come into my head are answered straight away, but because nic is the only long term girlfriend i have had, i don’t know if id feel the same as i do now with someone else. The good times are great, and i have a lot of good memories.. But when stuff go’s bad, i get very very angry and it makes me want to be by myself. But like I’ve said, i don’t know if id do that if i was with someone else. I do love nic. But sometimes that’s not enough.

I could just put it down to monday morning blues, or the realization that i actually hate my job, and i want so badly to leave. – I must write my notice tonight. I am waiting for duncan to say “yes” and then i will know that my back is covered for when i leave. Its so depressing coming to work and slaving away for the benefit of others.

Best get back to work then eh!

Well, i suppose you could say i failed. But i never said i was gonna quit. I just said i was gonna cut down. Well, “not have any for a bit” were my exact words. But i suppose i meant to say “i will cut down”. haha.

I got home today, had my tea, filled out all the forms i had to finish, sorted all my postage out for tomorrow, chilled out then took nic to work. On my way home, so about half 8, i got a bit of weed.

Usually i would of had 2 or 3 joints by then already. Its 23:55 as i type this, and ive only had 3 up to now!

In 27 minutes (its now 00:22) i have written nearly an entire song, that has been bubbling around in my head. Its a rap about a guy who rings his mate, and one thing leads to another.. Its pretty good.. It obviously needs going through as some of the words don’t exist haha, but i guess its like a “The Streets” type Talkin’ to ya mate type track.

I think i know where im gonna take a sample for a little bit of music for it from too. I was watching a really badly converted kung foo film. You’ve got main character dude, and he’s blatantly the most chinese dude you’ve ever seen, with a brummy accent. Hahahaha, its brilliant! Anyway, one scene has this really cool breakbeat-wanna-be type music goin’ off, and as soon as it came on it clicked and i knew i would use it somewhere!

I should really go because im slouching as im perched on the edge of my bed (its a low one) and i have the lappy on my knee. Ouuch! Me back!

Sionara. 🙂

Well, i sit here smoking the last joint i own. I am gonna try and not have any for a bit, just to see how i go. There are a number of reasons why want to stop smoking for a bit. One is obviously for health reasons, the other is because i suffer from a very bad memory. Even if im not stoned, i still have a really shit memory – And one of the things that i wish for day after day, is to simply remember my dreams!

I feel the weed i smoke blocks the dreams somehow, as the only time i seem to recollect anything is when i haven’t smoked anything for a while. – I have asked other stoners, and they dream fine. So weed and my bad memory together obviously aint a good thing!

I hear my friends talking about these amazing dreams they had the night previously – I even sat down and quizzed my friend who is a very heavy dreamer, about his dreams, and what they were like. He has 1st person dreams, meaning he see’s them thru his eyes, as if he was him. And they are all structured, all flow thru like a movie and are all very detailed.

He told me about a thing he does before he go’s to sleep. And that is that he runs through his day before he sleeps, thinking about the things he has said and done, what he’s done right, what he’s done wrong and how he can put right the wrongs. If you take the fact he’s just run thru his day before he sleeps, and throw it in with all the fantasies, desires and other things he has thought about thru the day, and i think we can see why he dreams so well. The dream website’s say clearing your mind before you sleep is a good way to prepare for dreaming. I don’t know if that’s entirely correct.

Anyway, im off to sleep, got my pen and pad to jot down anything i may remember first thing, and i have the chant “i will remember my dreams” going through my head already.

Wish me luck!

Ive added the “Xmas Update” Below the last 2 entries. Its mad how big a deal everyone makes of it, then in the blink of an eye its gone. And totally forgotten about until about november. I noticed asda had easter stuff in already, its pure madness.

Id love to live in a society of people that hunt for food, sleep under little shacks, or even under the stars. And all just chill out and live your life. No bills, no worries. Ahh.. I was watching a program about some people like that in Tanzania, or somewhere like that. And they were amongst the last few hunter-gatherer type people left on the planet. They hunted for food, openly shared their catches with nearby tribe members. There was no hostility. No danger. Just people living their lives and taking just enough from the surrounding areas to survive. No more. – And they are supposed to be the least civilized and most simplest people on the planet? I say they are the ones with their heads screwed on!

My back is hurting from constant slouching, so im going to bed.