Well i guess things are starting to look up for a change. The businesses are doing well, and things are looking bright for the future. Looking back on last year i think we quite literally making things up as we went along, we were learning every day, and even though its only been one year it seems almost second nature now to do what we now do day by day.
I am still struggling to focus at times, i sometimes feel under pressure and with questions like “how am i going to pay this bill..” running through my head. But i seem to make ends meet when its really needed.
Im really lucky to have the people around me that i have. My girlfriend Gemma is an absolute saint – i really dont know how she does it, but she puts up with me day by day and still tells me she loves me even though im clearly affecting her, and her life with my conquest to become some kind of successful internet entrepreneur.
Its the kind of situation where you start questioning what your doing – “who am i kidding, i can earn £250 a week doing some design job in some company and pay my bills” – then something stamps down on you and wont let you make that decision, and i think that is just the back of my mind taking over for a bit and not allowing me to throw away what we have, and are achieving.
When you have people to feed, and animals to look after, your priorities change (or at least they should anyway) and these people and animals become the most important things in your life because in different ways they depend on you, and feeling like you are letting them down, and making them unhappy is the worst feeling in the world.
But every time, that feeling comes over me and will not allow me to give up. It also makes me feel slightly more focused – and just makes me more determined.
By the end of this year, however i manage to pull it off – i will be able to provide a better life for my family, even if that means working 20 hour days 7 days a week – i will do it! Hey, at least it will give me time to grow my afro.
I have to go to bed now, as its late and i need to continue my quest tomorrow bright and early!