I have been sat thinking a lot of the day. Contemplating the next month or so, and what is gonna happen. And also thinking back over the past month, and trying to get my head round how fast things have changed.
So far, my life has almost been in chapters. I go through one chapter, then it finishes and i start the next. The very long chapter of me living at daz’s finished last week, i seemed to be stuck in a rut whereby all my money was consumed in weed, and basically wasted. But slowely, during the last few months at daz’s i started to break that mould, and become a new person. Now ive left, and with it i left the money blazing stoner bum that i had been me for the last 4/5 years.
Im not gonna lie, and say ive totally stopped smoking weed, because i havent. But i have cut down a LOT, in fact ive only spent Â£20 on it, in two weeks. Ive spent more on beer! And i do feel better for it. The day after ive had a lot to smoke, i feel very stressed, and i lose my rag quickly. If i dont smoke anything i just dont get wound up easily at all. I have a little bit left at home, and once thats gone im gonna wait till next payday at least before spending any more money on it.
We have all our bills that are slowly coming through, so i need to save as much cash as possible to cover them when they do arrive. I also need to open an account for me and wardo, so that all the bills can come from one place and its easy to monitor.
As well as thinking of these things, ive been thinking a lot about a partner, someone to chill with, someone to wake up next to etc, and the more i think about it, the more i want someone that i cant really have. A girl who im not allowed to speak about on here, or anywhere really. But i cant help it. I have been and had some of the crazyest and wildest sex with a very attractive female 2 nights ago, and all i can think about is this other girl.
Even after going out at the weekend, and feeling totally indestructable – all i can think about is her.
Ive said i wont be bothered if nothing happens between us, but if im being totally honest, thats a lie. Ive not been affected this bad by someone for, well, forever! Nic blew me away when i got with her, but only becasue she was very good looking, and no one that good looking had ever wanted to be with me before. I was very fat when i was younger you see. And i still think of myself as being very fat too, therefore i have little self confidence.
Anyway, i guess ill know sooner or later.
In the meantime, i have the rest of my life to plan. I think ill start with my IT Support Outsourcing idea.. Thanks ancis 😉
P.s. STU and DAVID – I want to start a small scale IT support outsourcing company.. Providing IT support solutions for companies like the one im at now. Would you both do sub-contract stylee support work for me? Its all money in the bank innit! 🙂