Category: My Past

ell i feel like i should be writing “i have that monday feeling again” but its actually wednesday. I used two of my days off, and had monday and tuesday off, it was great knowing that i didn’t really have to get up, but i wanted to spend the days filling up my web directory. www.diitul.co.uk is well on its way to becoming quite a useful online shopping resource. Search for anything from crazy gifts, to medical help and you’ll find something you need.

I have taken quite a few cool photos since the last time i updated my blog. There’s a couple from when i went off roading below, of some graffiti in a old abandoned warehouse. The contrast between the bright graffiti and the derelict buildings is amazing.

Nic was looking thru my old photos last night, and was saying things like “i wish i had photos from my life” – This statement is very true. A lot of people take photos at special occasions, birthdays, weddings, and all that shit. I just take photos all the time. And usually, i can tell you exactly what i was doing when i took the photo, even if its just of my knee or something.

So i guess I’m very lucky to of taken all these bullshit photos for the last few years of my life. As its mapping my life out as i go along. One day the pictures on here will be the only thing i have left of my youth, as i feel day by day its slowly disappearing.

Its that time of the week again, where the smile creeps on my face, and the workload drops off like your erection would after seeing a picture of pete burns, post-surgery. I love fridays.

Going to anquor army stores on saturday hopefully, so i can buy a set of army boots. As I’m going out with kev on sunday again, and I’m not wearing another pair of trainers! Not after the quicksand incident!

Unfortunately i didn’t get that jeep, or the caravan i was THIS close to buying last night. As they both went for too much money. I was actually quite gutted.. I was really looking forward to random fishing trips! – I guess another one will come along soon enough, and as long as i got some money i might buy it. djb mentioned that one of his mates has some kind of caravan renting company, so i could just rent one as and when i needed it. We’ll see.

Just spoke to my boss, and i have booked monday off work. I have a lot of internet related things i need to sort, such as the building of my affiliate directory. I’m gonna fill work with affiliate links, as many as i can find, and hopefully make a bit of cash from that. – And me and dave have lots of other ideas to work on. One day one of them will take off and we might get out this limbo we’ve been in for the last few years..

I’m gonna try and get some really cool photos over the weekend. As mine are starting to look a bit bland. I wish my country was more interesting, we have quite a few cool buildings, but they are “Renovated” and made into flats. What ever happened to derelict buildings? – Actually, i have a few places in mind, that i might pay a visit to on monday.

ttfn

Wohh, talk about head fuck. I was so depressed yesterday. It was like i wanted to give up, and crawl under a rock. I kinda feel like that now, but without the sadness. I just kinda want to crawl under a rock and sleep for a bit.

Anyway, got a reply from someone off ebay, in regards a Suzuki jeep. Its had a 1.6 vitara engine put in it. got a 2″ lift kit on it, and knobblies…

In fact..

There she is, and i would straight swap my clio for it. Its on ebay at a rather high price at the minute (£500), and unlike every other suzuki jeep on ebay, it has no bids. Now i don’t know why it has no bids, but it maybe because it has had an engine swap.

I’ve asked the guy the following questions, which should be asked before buying any car that has had an engine swap!

1) Is the new engine down on the log book? I. e Has it been declared?

2) If NO, then have you got an engineer’s report for the engine swap?

3) How much is the insurance? (Bearing in mind the previous owner may of NOT told his insurance company)

And last but not least..

4) Do you own a wheelchair? – As if I’m ripped off and sold a crap car, you’ll fucking need one haha

I really hope the guy swaps me, i dont give a flying fuck what this looks like, i purely want it for OFF ROADING! (and driving to work n that..)

Hit a bit of a depressed patch, don’t know why. I just keep questioning everything. I keep asking myself if I’m happy. I keep thinking that I’m not. And the question of whether i want to be in a relationship at all keeps popping into my head.All me and nic have done over the last few days is argue. I woke up this morning, and set my alarm for 8 so i didn’t overlay. She had a go at me because she had already set hers. Wtf?? I came in last night, she had food ready for me, and i wasn’t hungry. So i got moaned at for that. I tried to help her on the internet last night, as she was looking for jobs. I know it can be hard, but if you try and help her, your not actually helping, your “telling her what to do”, so again, i got raised voice and stress levels.

Its times like that, that make me think, what is the fucking point in this? What is the fucking point in carrying on, when something is obviously NOT right. Ok, i love her, and the good times are great, but apart from that, i don’t no what else there is. We argue more and more. Our social lives couldn’t be more different. We are not interested in the same things, yet all this time we have just made do.

It was never a problem at first, as we were together a lot. But as time went on, and the more i wanted to get back to my normal life, as well as have a relationship. The harder it got. For example, i know for a FACT that i wont go to all the shows this year with maxxd, because of one nic related thing or another.

I got asked once if i could see myself with nic for the rest of my life.

My honest answer, is i really don’t no.