Category: My Past

Well, i sit here smoking the last joint i own. I am gonna try and not have any for a bit, just to see how i go. There are a number of reasons why want to stop smoking for a bit. One is obviously for health reasons, the other is because i suffer from a very bad memory. Even if im not stoned, i still have a really shit memory – And one of the things that i wish for day after day, is to simply remember my dreams!

I feel the weed i smoke blocks the dreams somehow, as the only time i seem to recollect anything is when i haven’t smoked anything for a while. – I have asked other stoners, and they dream fine. So weed and my bad memory together obviously aint a good thing!

I hear my friends talking about these amazing dreams they had the night previously – I even sat down and quizzed my friend who is a very heavy dreamer, about his dreams, and what they were like. He has 1st person dreams, meaning he see’s them thru his eyes, as if he was him. And they are all structured, all flow thru like a movie and are all very detailed.

He told me about a thing he does before he go’s to sleep. And that is that he runs through his day before he sleeps, thinking about the things he has said and done, what he’s done right, what he’s done wrong and how he can put right the wrongs. If you take the fact he’s just run thru his day before he sleeps, and throw it in with all the fantasies, desires and other things he has thought about thru the day, and i think we can see why he dreams so well. The dream website’s say clearing your mind before you sleep is a good way to prepare for dreaming. I don’t know if that’s entirely correct.

Anyway, im off to sleep, got my pen and pad to jot down anything i may remember first thing, and i have the chant “i will remember my dreams” going through my head already.

Wish me luck!

Ive added the “Xmas Update” Below the last 2 entries. Its mad how big a deal everyone makes of it, then in the blink of an eye its gone. And totally forgotten about until about november. I noticed asda had easter stuff in already, its pure madness.

Id love to live in a society of people that hunt for food, sleep under little shacks, or even under the stars. And all just chill out and live your life. No bills, no worries. Ahh.. I was watching a program about some people like that in Tanzania, or somewhere like that. And they were amongst the last few hunter-gatherer type people left on the planet. They hunted for food, openly shared their catches with nearby tribe members. There was no hostility. No danger. Just people living their lives and taking just enough from the surrounding areas to survive. No more. – And they are supposed to be the least civilized and most simplest people on the planet? I say they are the ones with their heads screwed on!

My back is hurting from constant slouching, so im going to bed.

Well, today seems just like another day, and xmas? Where the fuck did that thing go? – Over this last weekend, i have come to one final conclusion. I want to travel the world, before I’m too old.

I don’t really wanna go to every country, or go all around the world. But id like to visit a few places such as Hong Kong, Australia, Beijing etc. The places you only see on maps, or on TV. – And i don’t mean a lil fortnightly holiday, I’m talking 3 or 4 months.

The way i see it is that if i don’t do it soon, I’m never gonna do it. Everyone talks about traveling before they settle down. No one does it. But i will!

Nic seems fine with the idea, she would obviously come with me – i have a feeling if i went back to her in 6 months time and asked if she wanted to go, she wouldn’t want to. She seems stuck in her ways, and only wants one thing right now, and that’s a house for me and her. Now that’s all well and good, but what do you do with a house for 4 months when you go traveling round the world? – I think we need to get on the same page again.

And, i recon im gonna write my notice tongiht. – Ive never properly written one myself.. im scared! :S

Well xmas came and went like a cold, i actually had a cold, and it seemed to last longer than xmas did. It was a memorable one tho, lots of eating, presents and smiles. And one of the few that i will remember in any detail.We had xmas dinner at nic’s grans, there was just the 4 of us, as the rest of the family were dotted about all over the place. It will be strange when everyone shifts a generation, and we are hosting xmas dinners for the older and younger members of the family. Im looking forward to it though.

My birthday was brilliant, i got up lounged about a bit, and then me mum kev and nic went playing in the 2 inches of snow that had fallen. It was fantastic. My muscles were sore for days! I made a snow man, (see mini-pic, or gallery for full pic). – I even made snow angel ‘s.. Just like homer. Mmmmm snow angels..

We had a pretty good time though, and this xmas will be one of the first ones i properly remember as for the last few ive either been off my tits or recovering – No class A’s this xmas, To be honest, i have this paranoid delusion that if i have any more class a’s of any sort, it will be that One too many.. So im scared to touch anything like that now. Lol, Anyone reading this that knows my past will understand what i mean when i say i cained it for a serious length of time.. But it hasn’t damaged my brain and body too much. Hoepfullyl. 😉

With new years comes new years resolutions. One of mine is to cut down, or even stop smoking weed. Not because i think its wrong, bad, illegal, dirty, a gateway to other drugs or any of the other things that people say come’s with smoking cannabis, simply because i need to save for things that cost lots of money. Me and nic hope to move out soon, and we all know what sort of expenses come with funding accommodation. And with my track record with luck, no doubt everything will go wrong. But hey ho, such is life.

And, I think i want to travel a shit load in the next few years. There are loads of places i want to go, and probably wont go to unless o do it at an early age. I cant help think ill be another one of them people that “Wanted to travel the world, but never got round to it” – If there’s any of you out there then give me some moral support at least! 🙂