Category: My Past

I feel like a different person. I have not bought or smoked any weed since scott dropped me off. Actually, i did have the TINYEST joint monday night, but it was made up from left over bits of weed i had in this little pot i have. By now, id of spent 30 or 40 quid on weed. I feel like since trax (last weekend) my life has changed completley.

I want to start a fresh. I want a clean slate.. And with moving house, and this situation im in with that girl, i just feel like a new man. Im happy.. so happy in fact that its almost too good to be true. And something is SO gonna go wrong soon.. I can feel it!

I thought karma had come round and bit me on the ass tongiht. After what has to of been one of the best wednesday meets ever, i went off with that girl to talk about a few things… and when i got back i couldnt find what i thought was £25, it actually turned out to be £30. I was gutted, for an hour i retraced my steps for the whole night, i even went back to all the places i had stopped and opened my doors. I wasnt really that bothered, as id of waxed that on weed by now anyway. It was just a downer on what had been a awesome night.

I got home, after giving up looking for the cash, and went to my garage to put the marquee in, and i did one last check of my car.. And what did i find wedged inbetween the pages of my notebook? Yes, £30! Awesome!

So right now, im the happiest i have been in a very long time. I can see that what was once gonna be a stoned broke ass future, is actually probably not gonna be all that bad afterall!

I cant wait for this weekend to come, so that i can move my stuff to the house where me and wardo will be chillin out in for the next few years..

3 more sleeps!

Ok, i need help here.. What can i call my blog? I have toyed with many ideas over the last week or so, but i cant find a “Tagline” that i like.. Its to replace what currently says “Insert A Decent Title” at the very top of your screen. I want something clever, yet funny, that describes a page of random ramblings from a paranoid stressed out victim of life 🙂 Any ideas?

In other news.. Wardo’s insurance has gone up by…

£0.00!!!!!!!

Which means we are good to go! I have pre-booked next monday (11th septermber! Ooerr!) as that is our official moving in date, and we are gonna compare lists of shit we need on wednesday. Cos we have got a house to fill! 🙂

Bah, screw you guys.. Im going home..

Well since trax ive had this girl in my head, although i should be distancing myself from her really. She has a boyfriend you see, of about 3 or 4 months and – well.. lets just say things went a bit further than they should of done whilst we were together this weekend. I have been liasing with her since trax, text messages flying back and forth.. And last night she kinda got busted. Her boyfriend found a message i had sent her, deleted it then confronted her with it last night. Its wierd, its as if shes with him for the sake of it. She laughed at the fact he was crying a lot of last night, and says she doesnt love him.

What should I do?

I would fucking break down and die if it happened to me. But, its not like they are married or anything. Ive never cheated on anyone, and she says shes never done anything like this before either. But i just cant get her cheeky smile or fucking sexy body out of my mind. I just hope that the content of her text messages comes from her heart, and not from her head. She wants to do some modelling you see, and some shallow women – i suppose – could use a situation like this to get their foot in the door. Or theres the paranoid view of “She only likes me cos im olstar@maxxd.com” which is something i consider everytime im in this situation.. I would hate for someone to be with me jsut becasue of my position on some website… Im so unconfident in my appearance and what women are gonna think of me.. I see myself as a big fat hairy ugly bastard.. And for someone like her – who could probably go out and get any guy she wanted – to like ME.. I just dont get it..
I have held back form textin her, as i dont want to land her in shit again, but she text me earlier.. its not like shes forgotten about me yet which is a good thing. I want to tell her to leave her boyfriend.. I want her bad!

Oh fuck im so confused right now…

im on the edge of my seat too.. Waiting for a text off wardo.. If he says his insurance isnt gonna be too bad! ITS PARTY TIME!! Me and my mum are going up to the house again tonight.. I think ill probably end up moving in, even if wardo does back out.. I cant see him doing that tho! Rock on bro!

I have told daz too, i said id been to look at a house and that i could be out within a month. I hope his financial situation is ok cos its probably gonna be sooner than that me old fruit pastel! Ill probably visit him a few weeks after i move out and i doubt the house or he will of changed much. I swear that house is cursed! The Stuck in Limbo house!!

So in conclustion.. Im happy, but confused.. excited and nervous.. and i still feel totally blown away by that girl!

EDIT – And, i havent spent any money on weed so far this week (its only been one day you big dummy!) so far so good! Maybe these two massive changes in my life could lead on to me becoming more active, and get fitter etc… Which is something ive wanted to do for ages.. Oh fuck.. i just remembered.. That girl said she could breakdance..

How much is one of them vegas weddings? 😆