I have lived long enough to have felt every emotion, many times over. I have been very happy, I have been very sad – but I have always said that I dont think I have ever felt true depression. However I think I may know what that feels like now.
My life has changed a lot recently in both good and not so good ways. I feel like for the most part the changes should be positive and for a while I did feel like that, but for some reason this week has been really difficult and I to be honest I’m not 100% sure why.
I have felt like there has been a huge weight on me, and my brain has been silent. I have struggled to be creative, I have not really had anything to say to anyone. It has been awful. All I have waned to do – and still do to an extent – is sleep in the dark.
I have managed to do work, and actually focusing on a few mini projects of my own has been the only thing that has kept me motivated.
Having my daughter here with me helps, otherwise I would be on my own a lot more and I think that would make things worse.
I’m also a bit worried about my health at the moment, I dunno, I just dont feel right. I think this is contributing to my general feeling of sadness right now.
I guess i’ll be ok, as I have to be.
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